The Birth Of Hannah

(Here is the story as it happened. I have included only a few thoughts and feelings. In the next couple days I will post an in depth analysis of my take on the whole natural childbirth experience. So for those that are just interested in how I felt about it and not every nitty gritty detail you don't have to read this really long post. You can just wait for the next really long one...)

I will start by saying I was really hoping for Hannah on the 19th. Everyone keeps asking why...simply because it was past my due date so more likely and because 2 and 19 are my favorite numbers. So being born on 2/19 would have been cool. When I talked to my mom on Tuesday (the 17th) she said she was kind of thinking it would be the 20th. Come to find out later my dad (without any consulting with my mom) also planned on the 20th. So i fully blame my parents for my not getting my way.

Tuesday at my doctor I was dilated to a 2 which is big for me. Took me 15 hours of labor with James to get that far. Wednesday night I had some contractions which was fairly normal for this pregnancy. With both the boys I had no early labor, no signs of anything happening. So the whole craziness Feb 8-10 was really different for me. Then the continued bleeding and random contractions were kind of annoying since nothing was happening. When I woke up Thursday I had some contractions again, still not abnormal. Taylor went to work, the boys and I went visiting teaching. By this point I was feeling really yucky and crampy and not well. We headed off to play group. When we got home for naps I really felt gross and laid down for a nap. By 2:30 I was having some contractions and I called Taylor and asked him to come home because I just felt yucky and didn't want to chase the boys around. By the time Taylor got home my contractions were fairly regular and about 2 minutes apart. From 3 to 5 they ranged around 2 to 4 minutes apart. We got the boys ready to go and had some dinner.

The family that was taking the boys had the Scout Blue and Gold Banquet so they headed over there and to the church. We drove to the hospital, but I was so worried it wasn't real and that those crazy nurses would bug me that I made Taylor sit out in the parking lot for 30 minutes. Once you go in they never let you out. Finally we went in with the understanding that I would be checked and we'd go home if nothing was happening. I refused to change until they checked me and sure enough I was a 3 1/2 so Taylor said we couldn't go home. With Matthias 5-10 took one hour. (This time it took about 30 minutes when I got to a five).

We called our wonderful, amazing, never could have done it without her doula and I changed into my nightgown. SO, SO much more comfortable than those lousy hospital gowns. After that we alternated between walking the halls, laying/sitting in the tub (best position), sitting on the birthing ball, and laying on the bed. The first four hours weren't too bad. At about 10:30 I was starting to really hurt. My favorite doctor had just come on call. I was only at a 4!! So annoying. At that point it was really hurting and not feeling to great. This is when we had one of the greatest moments. I was laying in the tub and Taylor was sitting on the edge holding my hand. And I just looked at him and it was one of the most powerful and spiritual experience of my life. I love him so much and he loves me and it was amazing.

After that it got really hard and by 11:30 I was losing it and about to die. Just about a 5. Starting to lose all hope of making it before midnight. At this point I made my last move from the tub to the bed. The nurse pulled out the monitors and tried to hook up the uterine moniter. "So I can see when your contractions are" she says. I about blew my top. No, I said. Take it off. Take it off now. I will tell you when I'm having a contractions. Are you serious woman? You need to see when I'm having a contractions? Like I can't tell. No. She took it off.

At one point I remember asking if I was already too late. Nancy (our doula) said she wasn't saying. I said I didn't care anymore and she said we hadn't missed the 19th yet. Some time after this I remember looking up at the clock (which I actually was watching fairly closely all night) and it said 12:06. I was really disappointed, but really what can you do. At that point it was too late.

The last hour was very difficult for me. I had a very hard time relaxing (which is the whole basis of the method we chose) and I was crying for my mom. Taylor and Nancy were wonderful and encouraging, but I didn't believe a word they said. I swear I was screaming my head off, but everyone assures me I was not very loud. Probably they are lying. I was totally crying for my mom and begging for an epidural. Of course they claimed it was too late, but I am really glad I didn't cave with just an hour left. At midnight I was finally a five. After that I moved pretty much every contraction. At 12:20 I started to push.

Everyone talks about the "ring of fire" you feel as you are pushing and it was amazingly accurate. I guess this slows some women down because they tighten up when this happens. I was SO happy to have that feeling. It meant I was almost done since pushing is fast and over with for me. At this point everyone kept saying, "she's almost here", "she's right there", "just one more push" for what felt like an hour. I was getting really annoyed because I had to keep pushing forever which really ended up being 10 minutes. Pushing was hard work, but so relieving because I knew it was almost done. Everyone kept telling me it would stop hurting after she was born and I couldn't wait for that moment. Finally at 12:30 am she arrived.

I remember looking at the clock and thinking, "it's still the 19th in California." But my mom ended up being right and she was born the 20th. After that she laid on my stomach and was so cute and bloody (although Taylor says much less bloody than the boys). I was of course freezing to death and it still hurt. I was really mad about that. Really mad. I had a couple small tears so I was feeling some burning and then obviously the contractions still going until the placenta was out. The cord pulsed for a few minutes and then Taylor cut it.

While in labor I had said "I don't want her to come out and cry at me." But then Hannah was so quiet and I asked, "why doesn't she cry??" So she promptly started crying. It was funny. I nursed her for about 20 minutes. By then I was so cold (convulsive) and tired so we consented to have her go get her newborn work done and off she went with Taylor. This is something I was very disappointed about because I really enjoyed that time right after Matthias was born that we spent together as a family and I loved holding him and being with him. With James I didn't even nurse him or really care to be with him at all because it had been so awful. This was somewhere in between and I was sad to not be feeling well enough to cuddle and snuggle my baby.

Two hours later I woke up and was afraid I had an epidural and was still pregnant and didn't have a baby yet. Fortunately Hannah and Taylor got back about 10 minutes later. Whew.