Remember here when I said "we are actually slowing adjusting to the early wake up time"?? Remember that? That was a lie. An optimistic lie.
We're not adjusting and we're slowing falling apart. Taylor is trying to recover from major surgery, I'm trying to recover from caring for a newborn. We've had an endless stream of visitors interrupting our precarious sleep pattern. A word here meaning depending on the will or pleasure of another. And it's really wearing down on us. Some mornings I wake up crying because I have to wait at least 14 more hours before I can go back to bed and I'm exhausted!
I really just don't know what to do. Matthias is the main culprit, but when we remove James from the room he just unlocks the door and lets Matt out. Plus Matthias has recently taken to removing his own diaper. Taylor found him standing in front of the toilet this morning at 5:20 with his diaper around his ankles trying to pee. Unfortunately he was a bit too short...
But the kid will not potty train. I've tried. He's chosen to not be ready and I'm of the mindset of waiting until they're ready to avoid cleaning up urine all day. I have enough to keep me occupied without adding unnecessary extras.
So keeping him in his room is really not an option unless we want a big, unsanitary mess. I've thought about putting a clock in there and telling them they cannot exit until 6 am. But really how would I enforce that? I've found that I really have nothing on my children. They rarely play with toys and are fine without. So I can't threaten to take their toys away. All they do all day is run around pretending to be knights, jedis, pirates, etc. And props are nice, but not essential. What am I going to do, take away their imaginations?
We don't watch tv. James watches a dvd every couple days or so, but since he will go sometimes 3 or 4 days without watching anything that doesn't really seem an effective punishment. Four days after the offense I say, "oh you want to watch a movie? well remember last Thursday? you came out of your room at 5:40 so not going to happen." Riiight.
Um, we don't really play with friends. Maybe once or twice a week. I'm just not sure what I could effectively withhold. Outside of running around slaying bad guys, reading is our main source of entertainment. We read for an hour or more a day. But Taylor and I just don't see that as an option. Reading is like religion to us. It's like telling the boys they can't pray. Maybe we can find a lion's den? That should keep 'em in bed.
Any ideas for keeping them in bed until 6 am? I think I can do 6. That half hour really does make a difference.
(and with a whopping high temperature of 54 my day should really be complete)
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Help!
Posted by Texas Harveys at 5:41 AM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Just so everyone that has visited knows, we have loved having you all come. Please keep coming. We moved to Denver so that you would come. We just are running out of steam. But please keep visiting because we love to have you all.
I shouldn't laugh. I'm not laughing. I'm half-crying and nodding in agreement and happy to see someone else who is sleep-deprived and wondering how to remedy it.
Good luck!
I don't know if it would work, but if Hannah is still getting up in the middle of the night (2am-4am) you might try waking Matt up at the same time for long enough to disrupt his pattern. If he is in a deeper/just getting back to sleep mode at 5:30 maybe he won't wake up as early. Course he might think it is fun to be up in the middle of the night and start getting up at 4, what do I know. Good Luck -DAD Harvey
Do your boys still nap? If they do, I'd quit the nap and start quiet time. Marielle does quiet time most days and it makes bedtime so much easier since she is actually tired at the end of the day. Enforcing staying in their room at noon will be a whole lot more manageable than 5am. Good luck!!! Sleep is one of those non-negotiables in life.
That is so hard. I seriously thought I would go insane when Joseph finally started sleeping through the night and Ian stopped. Here is what has worked for us at various stages of Ian and Joseph's life:
Does Matthias get to eat soon after waking up? Within the hour even? When my boys get off their schedule and awaken too early, I just make them wait until well AFTER the normal wake time to eat. So if they wake at 6:00 am ready to go, and I don't want them waking til at least 7, then I make them wait until at least 7:30 or 8 am to eat anything. It usually takes less than a week before they adjust. Once they are waking at an 'acceptable' time, I feed them more promptly upon waking up. If you do this, then at least you will know Matthias' belly isn't waking him up.
Make sure there are no rewards for getting up early. No cartoons, food, even having free roam of the house for a while. Make those early hours unpleasant, so he won't spring out of bed at the first opportunity. Can you tie him to a chair or something? Just kidding. But perhaps there is something you could do that he wouldn't enjoy -- like maybe he has to stay in one certain room, alone, between the time he wakes up and the time you want him to wake up. Like a large closet or empty room or something? If you offer that room and going back to bed, maybe he will chose more sleep. And perhaps you could pair this options with an alarm clock too -- if he needs to be out of bed before the alarm goes off, he can go in that certain room, or he can stay in bed. Time is hard for kids to grasp -- but an alarm ringing is something that he will recognize as meaning that it is now acceptable to get up.
If it is really driving you crazy, it might be worth it to invest in a cheap crib and crib net. (I am guessing Hannah is in Matts old crib now, right? Maybe you could even borrow one.) Using the crib & net you can try two things:
a) Matthias is a smart kid. Explain to him that he can't get up until an alarm goes off. If he gets up too early, he has to go immediately into the crib until 'morning' and sleep in the crib that night. (This is good because it keeps him in a bed, and also contains any poop messes to his crib as well.) Matt seems like he has always valued being 'grown up' and I bet he likes his big boy bed enough to learn to stay in it instead of being forced to sleep in the crib.
b) Just start him off in the crib and once Hannah is sleeping better, try his big boy bed again. I bet if you can 'force' him to get better sleeping habits while you have control over when he gets out of bed, then once he is in a big boy bed he will be more likely to maintain them. He probably really does need more sleep, so I bet he will adapt.
Maybe at night you can wrap duck tape around the entire top of his diaper. Several times. Maybe it will deter him from removing it -- for a while. That Matthias is unusually smart and dexterous, so I am sure it won't deter him forever!!
Consider that he may not be getting enough nighttime sleep -- sometimes lack of sleep can cause a child to awaken too early. Does he go to bed too late? Is his nap too late in the day? Too long? (some experts say it should be less than 2 hrs.) If he isn't taking a nap at all, his need for a nap could be messing up his night time sleep. Kim's Weissbluth book is all-knowing about this topic.
That is probably way more than you wanted! Sleep has always been something that I have been strict about, and it has often taken effort and some unconventional creativity to get my boys to be on board with it. I know it is possible to get Mattias sleeping again (or for the first time!) Or at least staying in bed while everyone else sleeps!
Good luck, Kristi! I agree with Mary Karlee's comment -- good sleep should not be negotiable. It is worth some tough love to teach him good habits and to earn you the sleep you need to be his mom. And I bet you are totally right -- when he hits HS, it will be suddenly impossible to awaken him!
We did the crib net thing for Ellie. I have also separated the boys if I found they were disturbing each others sleep cycles. Matthias may be one of those rare people that doesn't need as much sleep as the rest of us. You just need to find something he can do when he gets up that keeps him from disturbing the rest of you. You may have to lower your standards on something like movies to let him watch while everyone else sleeps. Its okay if it keeps you sane and kind and happy. I know you have struggled with this for years, so I don't know what to tell you. I'm so sorry. You will find that soon you will be getting more sleep, probably from Hannah sleeping more, but soon also the boys will be able to independantly play without your help. My boys know when it is a weekend and they get up and watch a movie without waking us up, so we can sleep in. It is well worth it.
Post a Comment